**Disclaimer**
Feel free to call me out, call me a hypocrite, or whatever.
First of all my head is a little scrambled because Wes is playing the guitar and singing and won't leave the room.
So I have a friend who frequently worries about whether or not she looks good enough to compete with the other mommies at her kid's activities. I always think she looks fine. She's not trashy, she doesn't have a mullet, she has good dental hygiene...so what's the big deal. She always just says, "Andrea, you have not seen these women. It's like a super model beauty contest at my kid's___". Apparently these women get dressed to the nines in designer fashions, with hair straight from the salon, manicures, pedicures, movie star makeup...but for what? To take their kid to preschool. Are you kidding me?
Last week I told her I was going to the pool for my ward's playgroup, and she told me that last time she was there it was like the swimsuit contest from the Miss America Pageant. I'm embarrassed to say that I actually succumbed to the pressure and put on mascara. This is out of character for me to care what strangers think, and abnormal for any day of the week, especially to got to the pool. How pointless, right? I did draw the line at blow drying my hair.
I say let's stop the insanity and trying to impress each other. This doesn't happen outside of Utah in our close knit Mormon communities. Let's quit trying to one up each other and pretend that our lives are perfect, then behind closed doors suck down our anti-depressants because we can't handle how high the appearance of perfection is set. You know those hot mommies have got to have some kind of serious unhappiness and disappointment that they're trying to cover up by appearing perfect, with the perfect husband, the perfect house and the perfect kids. At the pool, nobody there had a supermodel body that I can see. So let's just stop putting stock into what complete strangers think about us.
Secondly, why should we care what people like that think about us anyway. Are they the kind of people we really want to be friends with? The ones who won't let your kids play with their kids because you don't wear makeup and seven jeans; therefore, you must be inferior.
Referring to another friend's blog about letting your kids do their own art projects for school. That's how kids learn and gain self confidence and pride in a job well done, or learn when they should have put more time and effort into it because they didn't get the grade they expected. This is all part of the appearance of perfection. Let's just chill and accept ourselves and our children for who we are.
8 comments:
Wait until some woman looks at you and Dylan like something that she just wiped off her shoe and see if you feel like your "friend." Then again maybe if your "friend" used designer shampoo instead of White Rain they wouldn't scorn her so.
Seriously though I think the veneer of perfection that some women feel the need to project is as thin as your reference to your "friend." I often think it is sad that to feel good about themselves they make others and their children feel bad about themselves. I for one vow to show up, to drop Gage off at his early preschool, this year in my velor track suit that I hide from you in my closet.
That is probably one of my top favorite things about our playgroup...no one is like that. I guess maybe you all think I am a little like that since I doubt any of you have ever seen me with no makeup on, but really I just seize the moment to have a reason to get ready! Those moments happen so seldom, that I just have to take advantage once a week!
Isn't the whole point of having fellow mom buddies to have a bunch of people who get why your hair isn't perfect and your body will never be again?
I second to Jen. I love our play group! I showed up to the pool with sweaty hair, no makeup, and a not so shaved bikini line. Did anyone mind? Not one bit! I am scared to move away from our neighborhood! :)
Andrea, you can say that because you have such natural beauty. You have big brown eyes, good skin color, and fabulous hair. Give those of us with beady eyes, pock marks, and questionable hair a little break, would you? :0
I like your take on not caring what others think. I think your are spot on. with the idea that these people likley feel inferior themselves.
I have a theory although I havn't named it. it has been disscussed in other forums. I like to call mine the west valley phenomena; Dave just calls it White trash but happend in the philippines too.
The down and out try to dress themselves to not look as such. I watch surgeons with the least amount of talent often have the biggest egos. Anyway I declare that ALL of UTAH MORMONISM is suffering collectivily from a WEST VALLEY like effect. as mormons they think they are "inferior" even thought it makes now sense at all. So we play pomp and circ in order to think we are the big boys.
Andrea!!! this is fabulous!! i love this post and i love love you. . . of course, but for reals i am so with you on every single word. it is so so true. and now since i am out of utah it is sad to say, but the competition is gone. the one uping (if thats a word) is not important. i was so so welcomed by everyone in my new ward. i have never seen a ward so excited to have a new family. they love us!! and they don't even know us yet. i have to say its the reason i have issues with living in utah it was the same when i was single. the scene out here in cali was so much better. anyways just wanted you to know i sooo agree and i love that you posted this!!
I love our playgroup as well. I never feel in competition and let's face it I hardly ever wear makeup except on Sundays so I am glad that I have girl's I can just hang out with and be myself.
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