I Have Triumphed

I had a dream that my horse reared and slashed at me and knocked me down. I was hospitalized because I was hurt so bad. It was a horrible dream. And consequently made me fear my horse. I mean he only out weighs me by a thousand pounds, what's the big deal. I hadn't seen him or ridden him in 2-3 weeks from being out of town, working and keeping my house ridiculously clean. And last Thursday we were starting the second session of therapy. Cindy, who schedules the therapy, told me that she hadn't scheduled Sampson and it was my choice whether or not to bring him. I was thinking, "Great, an out. I don't have to face him for another week." (Also, I had myself convinced that I couldn't tow the horse trailer with my 4Runner anymore, I really needed a truck or I would die in some horrible accident.)

Then I grew a backbone. I thought, "What's the matter with me? I'm being a sissy. That's not who I am. I can load my own horse in a trailer and tow him up to Farmington and everything will be fine." And so I did. I did use a bucket of grain to get him into the trailer, because we hadn't done it for a couple of weeks, I didn't want to fight him to get him in and leave us both frustrated.

So we were up at therapy, and we did end up using him. So it's a good thing I brought him. And then my nightmare is coming true. He's tied up to the wall like all the other horses and he's the only one who can't stand still. (not really unusual) But instead of just fidgeting, he's hopping around and tossing his head like he's really agitated about something. At this point my heart is already pounding, just walking over to him while he's upset. But I didn't want him to hurt himself being tied up. So, I went and untied him and had him run in circles at the end of his lead rope. For the most part it's going fine and I can keep him jogging to keep his head together, but occasionally he's bucking and taking on crazy bursts of speed at the end of this rope that I'm holding. I'm getting more freaked out and trying not to show it. I'm in charge, this is my horse and my responsibility. Every now and then during this he stops running and turns and faces me (they're not supposed to do this) and I'm really freaking out because it's my dream in real life. He's going to charge me and knock me down. My solution to this facing me thing is to hurry and slip to the side of him and encourage him to start moving again. After a few times of the extra freaking out, I figure out it's the lawn mower outside the arena that's spooking him. What an idiot! He's in a pasture surrounded by lawns that get mowed regularly. The whole behavior stopped all together when I tied him up where he could see the lawn mower.

Bottom line: I faced my nightmare and I overcame. All the while thinking that I shouldn't have pushed against my gut feeling to not take him. He's a good boy and I love him.