The Death of a Good Friend

In the last 2 weeks if anyone had asked me if I'm excited to get into a new house, I'd probably agree. Then quickly follow it up with that I'm going to get my treadmill back. (It's been in storage since we put our house on the market in July) I'm sad to say that my treadmill did not survive the move. This tragedy is the saddest thing that has happened in a long time. My treadmill was well loved, well used, and will be sadly missed.

Treadmill, I will miss you.

Target

I've had issues with Target ever since we registered for our wedding there, then couldn't return/exchange anything. And yet I go back. It seems like whenever I go there I can't come out under $100. Even just for groceries it's impossible. This tells me they're sickly over-priced. I always feel slightly ripped off. It's not like it's the highest quality stuff.

Let's get back to why I'm presently irritated with this "super" store. I bought a camera there on Monday morning. Monday evening I find a better camera for a lower price at BestBuy (I think this circles back to the previous over-priced comments). I leave from BestBuy and go to Target to return their expensively inferior camera, and the can't take it back. Did I do something wrong? NO. I hadn't even opened the box and I had the receipt very available. So why couldn't they process this simple return for me? They needed 24 hours to process my credit card purchase, before the could then return it to said same credit card. Who has ever heard of this happening?!?! I was watching my friend's kids today and it was snowing. It is not convenient to come back 24 hours later to return a camera. How do they still have customers with service like that? I've really got to stay out of that store. I always end up shocked by the outcome.

Ok, really at the mall you can return something in like 7 minutes. Why the 24 hour credit card processing inconvenience? I would also like to point out that the 10 items or less express line is intended to be just that: an express line. So, be curteous to those behind you by making your purchases as quickly and efficiently as possible; not fumbling in your wallet for your 3 different store cards to scan, then forget about something in your cart. If you have this problem you should leave the express lane to the more experience shoppers.

Moving and Funerals

Wes and I spent Friday night organizing everything to move Saturday morning. It was exhausting, and I hate saying that it was exhausting. I hate not being able to do everything I normally could because I'm carrying around an extra 10+ lbs of parasite. Somehow add 10 pounds out front and you have to take away 20 pounds of what you can lift. Ok, I just really hate saying I can't physically do something.

Thank you everyone that came to help us, it went really fast thanks to your amazing muscles.

Another thing that shouldn't happen...funerals when you're pregnant and tired. Wes' Granny Joyce died this week and the funeral was yesterday. I'm also pretty sure that I was the last one to know that she died because Wes had some imaginary conversation with me. It was really great to see so much of Wes' crazy Smith family together. But I've got to say, they are the experts at not talking about the elephant. So to continue in that vein; whenever Joyce called Wes to ask for his number and I would talk to her, she would bless me profusely for marrying Wes. So I just hope that in her happiness of being reunited with her Jimmy, she will continue to bless me for marrying Wes. We all know I need it.

Here We Go

So it's been a whirlwind weekend and will continue through the next week.

Finally, on Friday we were able to get someone to come put on a new roof before it snowed yesterday. And our buyers were coming to paint the foundation. Even Wes sounded excited that things were coming together. (Wes is the biggest pessimist in the world in case you haven't pieced that together for yourself.)

Unfortunately, as I pulled up from grocery shopping yesterday AM, I saw a kid who had been with the roofers the day before coming out of our front door. I knew Wes wasn't home either, so what was this kid doing in our house. When I say kid, I mean teenager. A quick scan of my messy house let me know that my camera was missing. Wes came home an re-searched everywhere before confronting them. The kid's dad and brother were among the roofers and were really embarrassed that it happened, but couldn't get the kid to fess up. So they gave us $100 to replace it after offering to call the cops to scare it out of him. I think I'm only missing a handful of pictures, because I had just downloaded a bunch last week.

So talking to our buyers yesterday, (cool people, but not LDS)they are going to try to get the appraiser out here tomorrow and still close on Friday. Crazy fast, since I work Mon-Thur next week, but next weekend is really convenient in the end. When I say moving, I mean to my parents' house for a few weeks until we can close on a different one Dec 28.

Speaking of Wes as a pessimist, yesterday, when I was looking at my closet and deciding to pack all of it because none of it fits. He asked if I was sure I wanted all of my clothes gone where I can't get to them. I told him that at this point there's only a small container that fits me, why would I drag all of those clothes to my parents'. He was dooms day implying that we wouldn't be in a house before the baby comes.

I know this weekend was crazy, because at our sorting fundraiser yesterday, I didn't even get all the cow across. Heaven help me if I ever win again.

Today at church was really a lot more difficult for me than I thought it was going to be. I didn't expect Wes, in his I-got-dressed-in-the-dark outfit, to announce it over the podium. I kind of thought at this point we would just slip quietly into the night. But I really love this ward. I would like to just move it closer to Sandy, because I know we'll never find a ward like this again. I really got to grow up here. I was given a chance at leadership positions, and was truly touched by the testimonies of those I've served with. There are women in this ward who I will never forget the influence they've had on me and my family. And now I'm crying again. I'll really, really miss the Springview. And walking to the library.

The Insanity is Here

So our house went under contract a couple weeks ago. Wes wouldn't let me tell anyone because he thought we would have to speak in church. I think I've convinced him otherwise, and I'm sorry if I outright lied to you.

The people who are buy our house seemed very eager to move in and on top of it with inspections and appraisals. They were looking to close early (like next week) instead of the original December 21. We were going to try to accomodate them. It's not a big deal to us. We planned on moving in with my parents for the holidays anyway until we could close on a house of our own. Now their FHA loan people say we have to replace the roof on the garage before they'll approve the loan. This was one of the things we were trying to avoid doing to our house by moving. Now it looks like we're going to have to do it anyway, and it will most likely surpass the $500 in the contract to be spent on FHA repairs. I think we should do it anyway. I'm feeling the need to get moving into a new house and get settled before this baby comes in a few months.

And for those people I could tell, and was all excited about this house we found. They are in bankrupcy and have it mortgaged past the value of the house, but the bank is making them keep it on the market. Retarded, they'll never sell it. We found another house I like yesterday, but I'm afraid it will go quickly at the price it's at. With having to repair our roof, oh, and paint our window wells, I don't know what's going to happen to our house. Or even if or when we'll be moving.

I had started packing boxes yesterday, and not sleeping because I was stressed about moving in such a short time when I'm working quite a bit over the next couple of weeks. Now I want to say, screw it all and go read a book.

I'm the WINNER!!!

Yes!! I've never won a sorting competition before, but I did tonight. First place, in just 43 seconds. Sorting is an addictive adrenaline rush. I think it is for the horses too. The only sad part was it wasn't on Sampson. He has a little bug up his bum and I don't feel safe riding him in my "delicate" condition.

I started out on Chester, who was mentioned a few posts ago. He didn't do anything to make me nervous. In fact, he didn't do anything. What horse will just stand there or go backwards when kicked hard and repeatedly with spurs. Chester is a wonderful therapy horse, but I don't know that I'm feeling the love for him as much.

I borrowed a friend's horse, Ike, who is amazing. He's a ranch horse who really has it out for cows. It's amazing that a horse that size can get going so fast in such a small area.

If you actually read all of this, don't forget our therapy benefit sorting this coming Saturday, Dec. 5th at 6:00; Buffalo Ranch in Farmington. Please come to watch, or participate in the silent auction, or raffle.

My Weekend in AZ

This post is a little overdue, but I hadn't gotten around to downloading my pictures. And aren't pictures worth a thousand words. Well, maybe not in this case, but I'm sure you'd rather see the fam than listen to me prattle on.
This is almost the only picture I have with my sister Alayna in it. I go to AZ to see family and take pictures of DVS almost exclusively. We went to the Phoenix Children's Museum. Dylan loved it there. I'll have to take him to the one here. He seriously could have spent all day there, but what fun is that to 3 adults.
He loved watching the airplanes. He's a little boy. I think a fascination with anything that moves is a pre-requisite to coming to earth as a boy.
This pictures for my mom. How often do you get a picture of these cousins together? Sharing a cookie no less? Kira is one rambunctious cutie, I'm really sorry her face got cut in 1/2.
This last one is my sister Michelle and I comparing belly shots. She's 1 week ahead of me this pregnancy. And I'm really not that much taller than her. I'm wearing boots. For growing up in different houses, being pregnant together has been what's bonded us. She's having a boy this time, so if I have a girl we'll just exchange clothes. It seems like a win-win to me.

The Best Week EVER!!!

First, Monday I got home from AZ and visiting the best sister ever. I got my house together, dressed and I made dinner. That's a pretty successful day.

I worked Tuesday. Whatever. I like the clinic I'm at and the people I work with.

Wednesday, I snuck out and got a pedicure while DVS was napping. Wes was working from home, I didn't leave him home alone for and hour and a half. And we got some promising looks at our house. I'm really excited about some of the recent showings. (I'm now writing this after the best week ever, because it got kind of busy. I also don't know if I can show my previous enthusiasm because by brain is full of mucus.)

Thursday morning I worked, then went to horse therapy which I always enjoy. I almost left it at that except I just remembered that was the day I got hit on. Although it was your cliche construction worker, it wasn't the rude honk. He was cute and nice and asked me for directions to I-15 while I was filling up with gas. It took me a minute to realized he was teasing me because I was just in a really good mood that day. Then he told me he just wanted to talk to me because he thought I was pretty (if pregnant with your 2nd kid and just got off work qualifies, I think he lost a bet with his buddy that was in the truck with him). Anyway, I did the girliest thing I've done in 10 years. I laughed, slapped the door of his truck and turned away. Still, I was flattered. Kind of made my day.

Friday was an ultrasound and haircut. Does it get better than that? I mean a small celebration dance must be done just for arriving at 20 weeks. That's 1/2 way people! Although I feel ginormous, no itching yet. Keep your fingers crossed. No we did not find out what we're having. There's a CD in the car that may tell all, but you'll never see it. Mwahahaha! Okay, and I thought about going for the thick, straight across bangs during my haircut. We did a test layer that didn't look so good. But I kind of like how it ended up anyway.

Saturday morning I went to New Moon with Jess. Who better to go with than someone who will laugh at all the inappropriate places, scoff and snort at the cheeziness right along with me? We actually liked it for the most part. I mean how can you not like something that is repeatedly described as better than Twilight? How hard can that be!?!?!? Followed that up with some shopping. Good day. Good day.

Fall Musings

I think I've mentioned before how much I love fall. The leaves are beautiful, even when I have to clean them off my driveway and out of my house.

Then there's the annual pre-Halloween snow. It's great how one day you barely need a jacket and the next you need all your winter gear.

I've really enjoyed sharing some of my favorite things outside with Dylan this year. He really loved the boat and water in the summer, now he's loving the "no".

My plan is to take him down the tow-rope hill before the end of the year and I get too big. Just like this summer; he doesn't have to learn any skills, he just has to think it's fun.

It really bothered him to have the snow on his boots. He kept sitting down to clean them off.

Dylan thinks that these pillows are a requirement for going to bed. We have to have them to kneel on to pray.

This is his room "re-decorated" for those who are interested. There are no window coverings or anything on the walls. What's the point? My sewing machine is in storage, I really wanted to do a cowboy room, but he loves cars. This works.

On a side note, I've been thinking lately about how the time with just the two of us is coming to a close. He's the guy I hang out with, eat with, talk to. In a few more months, he's not going to be the center of my world anymore and it makes me sad. Especially on days like today, when he's been so funny copying everything.

He's such a big, independent boy who likes to walk around the zoo like he doesn't need me.

And help Dad clean the kitchen. Have you ever seen such an effective sweeping technique?

I love a guy in boots, jeans, and a hat. Especially, when their bums are as cute as his.

New Horse

I know this is a small picture, but it's off a phone. This is Chester he's a 9 y/o haflinger gelding and we're going to start using him for the therapy program on Thursday. We got him from the animal shelter for $20. How would you feel if you're a well trained horse and your life was only worth $20. I think it's sad.

Cindy who runs the program asked me if I could take him home. After talking to Wes, we both decided that we're too stressed about selling the house and getting a truck to transport two horses, to take him right now. So he's going to spend the winter in Idaho with the guy we move cows for, then maybe I'll bring him home in the spring. After I talk to my grandparents to see if they're ok with me having a second horse. I'm really relieved that the decision can wait until spring.

You Wanna Die

I believe I've posted crazy urges in the past, but I have a new one. One so compulsive, I'm surprised we're still safe and sound.

I want more than anything to hit people with an Obama sticker on their car. The same goes for any ostentatious BYU stickers. If the two were ever combined, my auto insurance would go up for sure. I just start to see red, and not just because I'm a U fan. I want to run them off the road, rear-end them, swing a baseball bat at them as I drive by. I figure if you haven't taken your Obama sticker off, you must still support his campaign of taking my money to give to someone else.

It's still a free country for a little longer. You have your right to free speech, and I have the right to go to jail for assault.

The Bed

Dylan's crib was needing an overhaul. So we just took it down and stuck him in the toddler bed M&M gave us. He loved it. He was so excited about it. Then I bought the car bedset, and he was over the moon. For the 1st week he would go in his room by himself and close the door to lay on his bed. Not to nap, just to spend time there. If I would open the door to see how he was (he can't open the door himself), he would get upset, kick me out, and close the door again. I was thinking that this phase didn't start until he was a teenager. Only then would he be too cool for his mom to come in his room. Not before he was two!

Then, a bad thing happened. He stopped taking afternoon naps. I've loved that he's taken 2 naps/day for the last year. So I decided, since I'm the mom, that if he was only going to take 1nap/day it was going to be after lunch. This has been a rough transition since I worked a bunch unexpectedly last week before he was secure in this new schedule. Now it turns out that if I set up the pack-n-play for naps he'll go to sleep in a reasonable amount of time, but it's a ridiculous procedure to have to go through for a nap. Instead of playing in his room for 2 hours with no toys. He still goes down to sleep in his bed at night without a peep.

Getting my kid to sleep has never been so frustrating.

1 Down, 2 to Go

I haven't been keeping track like I did with Dylan, but I do know that I am through with the first trimester now. I had a MD appt last week and I saw what looks like an alien with a heartbeat. I was more concerned about the heartbeat, because I haven't been feeling pregnant at all lately. Those MD visits can be really reassuring. So now I'm going to have when 20 weeks is so I can celebrate another landmark, and forget how far along I am in between.

A Sad Conference

I have never slept through so much Conference. I'm usually alert and soaking in all that's said. This time it was unusual for me to make it through the first talk. We spent Conference at a cabin in Wanship with my family, so maybe it was that wood stove keeping us nice and toasty that made me so sleepy. Maybe it was recovery from a week of sick kid and very little sleep. I can't make this un-underlined.

Here's what I took away. Lots of love. Heavenly Father loves us, and we should love each other. Also, make an effort to stay close to those in your family who aren't living the gospel like they know they should. And love them. I'm sure there was much more, but I was asleep. I'll catch it in next month's Ensign.

My boys accidentally wore twinner shirts. It's just kinda cute. This is Dylan's new camera face.

And Dylan fell in between the beds and was asleep standing up.

The Thermal Effect

Friday I went up to Malad, ID to move cows for a guy I know. I love to chase cows on my horse, it's loads of fun. However, when we were starting out that morning it was about 24 degrees. So I had on my thermal garment bottoms under my jeans, a couple of coats and shirts, my ski socks, and a hat with ear flaps. This was not extreme. I was still wishing that someone would invent heated leather saddles.

So after riding several hours in a saddle that didn't have short enough stirrups, my thermals (which I have never ridden in before) had caused some unexpected chaffing of my backside. It gave a whole new meaning to saddle sores. I also tore my pants on a barbed wire fence trying to keep a calf from going through. Thank goodness for boots so I didn't tear my leg as well.

The calf did eventually get through, and Sampson was very concerned about it and kept walking looking back at it making him trip several times. He's a lot like me sometimes and has difficulty focusing on the task at hand.

He's a great cow horse though. He may not bite the cows like some horses (which makes me laugh), but he does step on them to make them move. He was really excited when we first got out on the mountain so I let him chase some down faster than necessary just to let him blow off some energy. But once we had them all round up, he fell into a good pace.

Sampson's a bit of a head tosser. If you consider the fact that he's a pro heeler rope horse it makes sense that if you don't use a tie down you're bound to see the star on his forehead now and then. (They would use a tie down during competitions to help him keep his balance while pulling back against a roped cow.) (not my horse, Sampson is black) While it doesn't make me nervous that he's going to throw me, like it does others, it is annoying. So by the time we got to the corral and trailers and the sorting part of the day, I borrowed a tie down and it made a huge difference.

I'm pretty proud that I sorted a couple of bulls into the pen by myself. Other than bulls I wasn't really sure what they were sorting. I just love how smooth my horse is at high speeds, so it was a lot of fun. Of course I don't go at his top speed, because it scares me.

Thank you Cindy, for letting me stay at your house the night before so I didn't have to wake up any earlier. Also, thanks for driving so I didn't have to trailer all the way up there. Thank you Mom for watching Dylan, so I could have a much needed day to play.

Women and Depression

I've been working a bit the last couple weeks, and so I become more exposed to studies and statistics. The last couple I've seen have kind of got my feathers ruffled.

First more women are on anti-depressants. Initially I say, "Well, there are more anti-depressants on the market and they're prescribed like candy." But I would like to blame the feminist movement. (Please don't take this the wrong way, I was big into feminism through jr high and high school. Maybe a little in college. I don't believe that men are better than women or visa versa. I never wanted to get married, or have children. I wanted to be the best PT on the planet and go on a mission when I was 19 not 21.) That being said I now know that we are not equal between the sexes. Not because of physical or mental strengths or weaknesses. We really have predestined roles to play on this earth.

I believe that women are more depressed because the feminist movement told them that they are entitled. That they can and should do everything that men do. That they should pursue careers and get to the top. So now women are not even getting married because they don't need a man in their life, or they're looking for the perfect man. That man doesn't exist. Men will not treat you like your girlfriends. They will not understand and sympathize. Just get past that thought. There is no Mr. Darcy. Anyway, so now women are climbing the corporate ladder instead of staying home and having children. Being fulfilled in the home life, because the world tells you that it's not happiness. You need and deserve to do more. Going against the plan causes depression.

Also, I'm a PT. I'm pretty into exercise as a cure all. It's actually proven that exercise is more effective in treating depression than medication. I think it's a well known fact that the world is obese. Go exercise and decrease depression.

Also Utah is particularly high in plastic surgery. How prideful are we? First of all Mormons need to mind their own business. No one else in the country is so interested in what their neighbors are doing or what possessions they own. So, there was also a conference talk about loving yourself for who you are and don't try to alter it. Heavenly Father made us look how we do and it's perfect in his sight. That should be enough. Second, this is the prideful fall in the BoM. We've been righteous and we've prospered, now we're setting our sights on the vain things of the world.

Camping with the Turks

Dylan throwing rocks into Cecret Lake.

We barely made the 1 mile hike in.

Dylan loves his Auntie Jenny.

Wes told Dylan to rub his hands together over the fire then put them on his cheeks to stay warm. It got down to 37F during the night. BRRRRR!

Jenny and Drew made us a very excellent breakfast. Bacon, eggs and pancakes.

I Think I'm Back

It's 10:30 and I've exercised, made and cleaned up breakfast, did the dishes, made the bed, a couple loads of laundry, showered, both Dylan and I are dressed. This is a new record. For the past couple months this has usually taken until at least 1:00, sometimes all day.

Now is this because I'm actually waking up, or did Wes use reverse psychology on me this morning. While I was eating breakfast he came in and told me I was a good mom. Naturally I became suspicious. First of all, Wes complimenting me is unpresidented, it threw me for a loop. Second, when he said this Dylan was behind the TV playing with the cables. Not really the safest place to play. Am I really awake for the first time in a couple of months, or am I trying to prove to Wes that I am a good mom?

Review the Resolutions

It's September, we're nearing the end of the year and I haven't done as well as I'd hoped on the Resolutions this year. It's not too late, I can still get some done.

*Learn to snowboard- Done. This I did, my sis-in-law Toni was a snowboard instructor @Brighton and did a fabulous job teaching me. I just wish I hadn't followed Wes down that black diamond. Many bad words were said and names were called.

*Go camping to someplace new- Done. Last weekend we camped at Albion Basin. It's new.

*Take 10,000 steps/day- my pedometer has been in my car since the first of the year to get the battery changed, and it's still there with a dead battery. I feel like I did well on this one until the last couple months when I couldn't get off the couch.

*Go to a continuing ed course- Gonna be done. It's now required for PT's so I'm going to one in October and one in November.

*Work on #2 in the summer- Done. It was a little earlier than I originally planned, but #2 should be make a debut in April.

*Scrapbook Dylan's 1st year digitally- Done twice. I did it 1st with Photoshop Elements, then again on Shutterfly.com which doesn't take as long and slow down my computer.

*Be more sincere- Not sure. Ask Wes and he'll say I'm down right nasty. I'll keep working on this one.

*Read only Church lit. on Sundays- Totally blew this one. I'll buckle down and start again.

*Pay off the cars by March- Done. But it wasn't until August.

*Read a classic everyother book- Not done. I don't know how committed I am to this anymore. My brain is too tired to expand to new horizons.

*Clear the wake with a grab- Not done. Not gonna happen this year.

*Do 1 tri-sprint and 1 10K- Not done. Not gonna happen this year.

*Have FHE every week- Not done. We're losers. We'll have family home evening tonight. We'll talk about the prophet.

Ok, that was like 50%. Some I just need to recommit to.

Cute Boy

My friend Jenny took these pictures at Wheeler Farm the other day.








Maybe if we're really good this year, our next kid will be as cute.

How Do You Say It?

I just noticed that my copy of Catching Fire is at the library. I read the synopsis and it mentioned Peeta's name. Now do you say it like how the British say Peter, and drop the R? Or is it more like Pita bread since he's a baker's son?

Isn't that the beauty of reading to yourself most of the time? You can say weird names however you want.

I Had a Dream

Seriously, the nightmares have to end. First my horse violently attacks me, now there are zombies.

I had and I Am Legend nightmare. The zombie/vampire people were chasing us down on a bridge (there were a few of us, none that I recognized). They killed some of us while the rest of us hid under the bridge, then the just passed on. Then this group of weird looking people were riding up to us on low rider bikes. Almost too late we realized they were the vampire people with Bill Clinton (and other characters)masks on. These were trying to trick us into letting them approach us. So we pretended we were zombies trying to eat our friends. It was disgusting, but they were stupid enough to think we were like them and moved on.

How horrible is that? Turning to cannibalism in your sleep. I spent the rest of the night singing songs from the Primary program to drown out the images.

Not my best night's sleep.

My Husband is Creepy

My husband is freakishly un-natural the last couple days.

Last night he went outside with Mela, and I went in our room to change for bed. Our window was open, like it usually is (sorry Paxtons, don't look over the fence). Wes was just standing there looking in our bedroom while I was changing, like it's something he's never seen before. Either way he hadn't said anything so when I noticed him I sort of screamed and crouched on the floor. Who does that?!?! Who just stalks their wife through their bedroom window, then doesn't understand why she freaked out?

Then this morning I was vacuuming the basement, for the zillionth time this month, while he was changing Dylan. Just vacuuming, when I notice he and Dylan are sitting on the stairs watching me. Again, my heart stops. If you're going to be in my space when I think I'm alone and can't hear you, make your presence known!

And again I was in Dylan's room with him while he was throwing a temper tantrum, so screaming. Wes came home from work to get something, again not loudly enough that I hear him in the house. So when I come out of Dylan's room and run into him in the hall I'm really ready to pass out at this point. It's not nice to sneak up on people that much. I've asked him in the past when he comes home from work at odd times to let me know it's him so I won't think someone has broken into the house.

For the love, I don't know how much more my heart can handle.

10 Years

Last night was my 10 year high school reunion. I only found out about it earlier this week. And I really wanted to go. There were people that I went to high school with and were good friends with that I really wanted to know what happened to them and what they were doing.

However; going back to high school is like being in high school again. Gone is the confident adult and the insecure teenager returns. I thought more about what I was going to wear last night than I do any other time. I put on makeup, there was no reason to look older than I am. And after I talked Jenny into going with me, driving with me, I started to get kind of nervous. I made Wes park at the far side of the parking lot so I could scope it out from a distance in case I didn't know anyone there. If that were the case I was planning on just being a visitor to Wheeler Farm, taking my kid to see the animals. But no, suddenly Jenny was confident and wanted to just go over there and get it over with.

It was sad I mostly looked around and thought, "I went to school with these people for 3 years. Who are they?" Apparently my memory is going with age. There were people I recognized but didn't want to talk to. We never talked in high school, why start now? In all honesty, most of the people I wanted to see didn't come. I hung out with people who were more likely to get a 5 on an AP test than score 1 for the team. Apparently being smart means you're smart enough to not show up.

What kind of cracked me up though, was our senior class president was sadly bald and looked like someone's dad, and the student body president shaves his chest hair. It was an interesting experience that made me feel old, so I don't know if I'll repeat it. I like to think that I'm pretty young most of the time.

I Have Triumphed

I had a dream that my horse reared and slashed at me and knocked me down. I was hospitalized because I was hurt so bad. It was a horrible dream. And consequently made me fear my horse. I mean he only out weighs me by a thousand pounds, what's the big deal. I hadn't seen him or ridden him in 2-3 weeks from being out of town, working and keeping my house ridiculously clean. And last Thursday we were starting the second session of therapy. Cindy, who schedules the therapy, told me that she hadn't scheduled Sampson and it was my choice whether or not to bring him. I was thinking, "Great, an out. I don't have to face him for another week." (Also, I had myself convinced that I couldn't tow the horse trailer with my 4Runner anymore, I really needed a truck or I would die in some horrible accident.)

Then I grew a backbone. I thought, "What's the matter with me? I'm being a sissy. That's not who I am. I can load my own horse in a trailer and tow him up to Farmington and everything will be fine." And so I did. I did use a bucket of grain to get him into the trailer, because we hadn't done it for a couple of weeks, I didn't want to fight him to get him in and leave us both frustrated.

So we were up at therapy, and we did end up using him. So it's a good thing I brought him. And then my nightmare is coming true. He's tied up to the wall like all the other horses and he's the only one who can't stand still. (not really unusual) But instead of just fidgeting, he's hopping around and tossing his head like he's really agitated about something. At this point my heart is already pounding, just walking over to him while he's upset. But I didn't want him to hurt himself being tied up. So, I went and untied him and had him run in circles at the end of his lead rope. For the most part it's going fine and I can keep him jogging to keep his head together, but occasionally he's bucking and taking on crazy bursts of speed at the end of this rope that I'm holding. I'm getting more freaked out and trying not to show it. I'm in charge, this is my horse and my responsibility. Every now and then during this he stops running and turns and faces me (they're not supposed to do this) and I'm really freaking out because it's my dream in real life. He's going to charge me and knock me down. My solution to this facing me thing is to hurry and slip to the side of him and encourage him to start moving again. After a few times of the extra freaking out, I figure out it's the lawn mower outside the arena that's spooking him. What an idiot! He's in a pasture surrounded by lawns that get mowed regularly. The whole behavior stopped all together when I tied him up where he could see the lawn mower.

Bottom line: I faced my nightmare and I overcame. All the while thinking that I shouldn't have pushed against my gut feeling to not take him. He's a good boy and I love him.

Lake Powell

I'm stealing these pictures off my mom's facebook account. I lost my camera between Colorado and Utah, but it's been found. So we were at Lake Powell and I got sick because I was too stressed out about keeping my house clean to sell it. I'm a freak, I haven't done that since my licensing boards.
I really loved having Wes there, so we were a whole family. But I think he's afraid he's going to drown. (I'm joking. He was a life guard when I met him and an excellent swimmer, and had the body that went with it.)

I love that of all the things we don't have in common we have this. For some reason loving the lake and everything you can do on it is very important to me.

That's why we're doing this. I really want DVS to love it too.Wes really wanted to be the one to take Dylan kneeboarding the first time, but he was too big and pushed the board too far under the water. So, I did it and pulling an extra 25 lbs makes a difference.

Wes found other things to introduce Dylan to.

Evan decided he'd already had a great day wakeboarding and so he rocked it old school on the two skis.

I'm on the MLS!!

Is it weird that I'm very excited to see my house on the internet? I've busted my butt to get it ready to sell before we went out of town this weekend (in 4 hours). So go look at it and tell everyone how great it is. I know I can't decorate to save my life, but I can clean.
http://www.utahrealestate.com/901681

Time is Ticking

I'm at work because I was called in at the last minute for who knows what reason. I can always say "no", but I can always use the extra cash. I was go, go, go right up until I got here, I was eating my lunch while my first patient was warming up because I had crammed so much into my morning there just wasn't time earlier. So, my 1:40 patient was here, now I don't have another patient until 4. But it's not enough time to run home get cleaning or cooking or shopping done. It's frustrating. But I guess I'm getting paid.

I love irony

I love that I lost the key code to get into the storage unit. I love that I have to go through the gate that I don't have the key code for to show ID to get the key code to the storage unit. I love that when I get to the storage unit to get the key code to get through the gate the manager isn't there to give me the key code. I love that after all of that, I don't have the keys to the pad locks on the storage unit and I have to drive back home to get them. It's a kickin' day.

A Conundrum

What do you make of this? I can't remember, nor have I ever known, the 4 digit PIN to the joint bank account we've had for the last 3 years or so. I can however remember my 14 digit account number to the library along with the 4 digit PIN. I'd like to say that I don't spend money because I can't use the debit card, but that's just not true. The good news is that I guess I save a lot of money because at the rate I read books, we could buy a new car with the money I could books if I didn't borrow them.

I'm Conflicted

I guess it's not really a conflict when I know how it's going to end. My kid is 18 months really it's time to start working on #2. I know I'm selfish and that why I'm waiting until summer and wakeboarding are finished. My kid is already spoiled rotten and needs to share the spotlight.

Here's the hard part: starting over. I know this has been done over and over again through every century. Most people reading this most likely have more than 1 kid and are thinking what's the big deal. You are obviously not as self-centered as I am. But really the inconvenience of not being able to do so many things while you're pregnant. Then for some of us your liver stops working and you itch really bad. I really don't think being pregnant is as bad as everyone makes it out, just bothersome. Then there are all the prayers that you'll fit into your clothes again someday.

The not awesome part is the feeding every 3 hours, the blow outs, the spitting up blob that can't tell you what it wants.I admire all of you out there who have selflessly given your live to the bearing and raising of children. You're doing a fantastic job.

I think I'm still struggling with being a grown up, so how could I possibly be a mom. I guess it's already to late for that. I wouldn't trade Dylan for anything. He's so dang fun. He runs around walking and talking, doing the silliest things. But at this point there are no binkies, bottles, burping. None of that is fun. I'd like to say he's the center of my world, except for the times when I want to do something and he can't come along. I really try to regulate how often that happens. Like the skiing last winter, and the horseback riding/competitions, movies, etc. It sounds bad, I know, but really most of the time at home, just the two of us (think the Will Smith song).

I remember when I was pregnant thinking how new and awesome each little sensation was. Now I'm thinking been there, done that. What is there to experience? Certainly not natural childbirth. That's just crazy talk. With any luck it won't take me a year and a half to get pregnant again (it would really put me up against my 2 by 30 goal)and I'll have another boy. Not that I wouldn't love a girl as much as DVS; I'd just prefer a boy.

I've been told that it's every bit as awesome to watch your second kid learn to do stuff. I feel like having a second kid is to regulate Dylan. Like I wanted a second dog to hang out with Mela. The more these thoughts spill out the more heartless and insensitive I sound. Very much like an unfit parent; please don't call CPS. Dylan is a happy, well-adjusted, mostly well behaved kid and I'm sure the next one will be as well. I can do this. Even if this wasn't a coherent post.

Fireworks with the Paxtons

Judi's family was gathering at Sugarhouse Park and we were invited to tag along. There was the fun single uncle there with lightsabers. How is it that little boys just know what to do with a sword?

Dylan did some sparklers and tried to burn his hand by grabbing it. I was done with the trying it after 2 sparklers. Whenever anything else is the slightest bit warm, it's "hah, hah"(hot, hot). But no, let's try to wrap our chubby little fingers around a sparkler.
The kid kept going right up until the fireworks started after 10. And sat to watch in amazement. It was a fun walk home that night. Thanks again Paxton's for letting us crash your party. The beauty of it all was that he slept through 2 1/2 hours of church.

4th of July Parade

First of all on the 3rd I competed in some Posse events up in Liberty (the city, not the park). Here are some video links if you want to see how poorly I rode. My horse is scary fast and knows how to compete; it was my first time. I was really nervous and made lots of mistakes. Please don't look at this as the way I usually ride.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tnQ8ZGLPxAg this is my unimpressive barrel race. I got around 22 seconds. A winning time would be closer to 17. My grandma, and ex-barrel racer, said I did a good job for my first time. So, I'm going to live on that for awhile.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rm2a65iMWhQ this is my keyhole event. I got a little braver and I'm committed that someday I will let him go top speed instead of holding him back. And I won't be afraid. (That took a lot to admit.)

The therapy kids were in the parade in Liberty the next morning. It was lots of fun to get the horses all pretty to be in the parade. Everyone did really great except for Sampson. I pulled him out 1/2 way through the parade and wanted to kill him. He wouldn't walk and my hand hurt from beating him trying to hold him back. Apparently, he can't compete in the arena and then behave the next day. Too much to ask.
He did have some nice stars on his butt, too bad most people didn't see him.

I'm kind of proud of the braids with the red, white and blue. I did them myself and I think Summer looks cute.I did not do a great job with the blue sparkles on the hooves. Someone went around and re-did them. Doing a thorough job is not always my specialty.